waiting
So this is what it feels like to go through this kind of wait. waiting to be who you are.
“so yes, I prefer the term ‘trans’ before ‘man’ and I don’t think it makes me less than any other man. this is my reality and I embrace that.”
Identity
For a while my identity has been at the forefront of my thinking, I’ve decided I’m going to try and let my hair grow longer and allow my more feminine characteristics shine through and try not to worry about how its viewed. I feel like I don’t fit in any category right now and I’m working on being okay with that. For a while I’d take note on what my family would think if I did something gendered one way or the other. I’ve been trying to teach myself that it doesn’t matter if they think the action I’m carrying out is of a male or female motion, the action is my own and shouldn’t be seen as gendered. I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and I often understand why I’m feeling the way I do, but I just can’t seem to accept it. I know I need to love myself more, I need to be able to look in the mirror believe when I say I’m awesome in many ways.
I have high hopes for this move, let my hair down, put back the silver spiked hoop earrings in both sides and not question if they make me look feminine. Shave all the hair from my face and let my hips sway. This is who I am and I don’t want society to tell me any more what gender expression I should be portraying.
